The Travelers

The beginning of many things. The man is called Finn, and the hawk is called Hugh.

aa....aaaa....AAAAAA....AAACHOOOOO!

The Sound of Sickness
from A Prairie Home Companion, Dec. 1, 2007

Hello darkness, my old friend
I have gone to bed again
Because a virus came in to me
And I'm feeling tired and gloomy
And my head hurts and I'm achy and I'm hot
And full of snot
I hear the sound of sickness

(SICKNESS)

I have a fever and I ache
Because I made a big mistake
When I taught my class in Sunday school
And those kids began to sniff and drool
While I was teaching them the parables of Jesus
I heard their sneezes
And all the sounds of sickness

(SNEEZING)

I came home and went to bed
And felt a throbbing in my head
And I'm getting the idea
I will soon have diarhhea
And I can't go out for fear I might explode
And drop a load
And hear the sound of sickness

And in the drugstore light I saw,
Ten thousand people maybe more.
People shivering in their V-necks
Buying Benadryl and Kleenex.
And Vapo-rub and aspirin (AH CHOO)
God bless you.
It is the sound of sickness.

(COUGHING)

"Fools", said I, "You do not know
How it feels to be laid low
Why am I the one who's fated
To be so awfully nauseated
And something like silent raindrops fell
And what a smell
I hear the sounds of sickness

(SNEEZING)

And the people bowed and prayed
For relief and for first aid
For they had it without question
Awful nasal congestion
And fatigue and achiness, the whole bit
They felt like crap
And heard the sounds of sickness

(SICKNESS)

And heard the sounds of sickness.

FN (PLUGGED UP): This is Fred Newman. I'm not going to make it in to work today.

And heard the sound of sickness.

The Sound of Sickness
—originally: "The Sound of Silence" by Paul Simon © 1964 Paul Simon
—new lyrics: Garrison Keillor © 2007 Maia Maia Music (BMI)

Trailer Hitch Meets License Plate

You know it's a Thursday when your morning starts out with a rear-end collision right next to your place of employment.

I was a tad hasty this morning, running slightly on the late side, when I pulled up to a stop sign behind a very big black truck. It was one of those monster double cab trucks too, and had a driver and five middle schoolers in it. My mind was on the coffee I'd just purchased, getting a parking space, how many kids were crammed into that cab, and not being late, when the truck stopped quicker than I'd anticipated. I slammed on my brakes and stopped just in time to feel a slight bump.

I'd hit the truck. Barely, as I couldn't see any damage on the bumper. I pulled into a spot and got out of my car as the truck deposited its cargo. The driver pulled up next to me and a very cheerful lady informed me that absolutely everything was fine, there was no damage at all, and was I okay? I looked at the front of my car to see that my license plate had been slightly crumpled by its first meeting with the truck's trailer hitch. 

So, no worries between me and the driver, all was well. Except for my walking onto the campus. "Ms. Davis!! You hit our car!!" 3 of the 5 youngsters who'd witnessed my stupidity accosted me in the classes I coincidentally was subbing in, all informing me of my mistake. Like I hadn't been there. Oh man. I'm pretty sure all of the 7th grade now knows that Ms. Davis hit a truck before school. *sigh* Its Thursday all right.