A Saturday to Die For

How the day starts has always affected its outcome for me. If I wake up in the morning, with just the right amount of sunlight streaming in, coming off of a perfect dream and I got just enough sleep, chances are the day will go well.

If your landlord calls you at 8:15 on a SATURDAY morning (as mine did this morning), asking to show your soon-to-be-vacated apartment to some people at 9, chances are the day won't go so well.

"Oh, did I wake you?"

"yes." I am grumpy, and mostly asleep, having just been dreaming of taking some all important exam that would decide the fate of my future career....

"Well, I have some folks who want to come around 9,"

"Paul, its a Saturday morning." omg. why why why why

"Well, that's when people are looking for apartments. Are you going to be able to be out by the 31st?" No, Paul, that's not when people are looking at apartments. I would know. I'VE been looking at apartments for 4 weeks now. No one has been willing to show at NINE in the MORNING. And no, I'm not ready on the 31st. We talked about this. My new place won't be ready till the 15th of September, and you said I could stay. Don't go changing your mind now...

"I'm sorry Paul, I'm not awake right now. Can we talk in a little bit?"

"Yeah, I'll be up there at 9." Great. That gives me 45 minutes to wake up, have breakfast, down some caffeine, and take out the trash. Great.

"ok." No, its not okay. Whatever.

The rest of the day did not improve. A SoCal heat wave has made my apartment virtually unbearable for the duration of the sun's travels through the sky, and I just want to be wearing a tank and playing Halo 2. Instead, I worked on making progress packing and cleaning. I power through the kitchen, but I'm still only a quarter of the way through the things I need to do in there. I cleaned All Day. And the people who were going to come at 4 with Paul decided to stop by themselves, early, just to see the place.....which is what they were going to do...at 4.... I was not ready for them. Didn't my lovely landlord put something on his sign that says "Please Do Not Disturb Tenant" ???? I mean, really.

I finally get some relief when I took a nice, refreshing cold shower before going to work, but things did not improve when I got there. My shift lead didn't reply to my cheerful greeting, and I immediately sensed trouble. I later came to understand the trouble had nothing to do with me, but man, this girl has an attitude when she's not feeling well.

And my coworker, a guy that I've come to enjoy working with because he's funny and witty, and a little gritty too, decided to get onto an extra large soapbox towards the end of the evening. He started to rant about religion, which I took as mildly as possible. But finally he got my goat. I don't yet know how to argue my faith convincingly enough to someone determined not to believe, so I decided to ask him a question.

"Mark, would you die for someone you loved?" Easy question. But you have to answer it honestly.

"Oh yeah, of course. Without a question."

"Okay, well, would you die for a complete stranger?"

"No. There are too many assholes who are complete strangers. I wouldn't die for an asshole." Ouch. That was harsh, and a bit jaded. My outlook on Mark changes a bit.

"Let me ask you the same question a little differently. If you saw a man trip and fall into a street with oncoming traffic, and you had the ability to save his life at the cost of your own, would you do it?"

Since we were working, and not in the same room through the entire course of this conversation, I couldn't quite understand his answer to this question. But in the end, he said no. And asked me if I would do the same. To save another human being? I don't know. Honestly. But I feel as though I would. It feels right. The ultimate sacrifice. He countered this argument with "what if you saved someone like Hitler? What if that person got worse? More evil?" Then my sacrifice for that person would have been wasted, but not for myself. The intent was still out of love. That's the point. Jesus died for his friends, the people he knew, the people in Israel who knew him, and For EVERYONE Else. Past and Future. As a human man there was no way he could have personally known so many, as well as loved every single one of them. But he was still willing to die for them. But now, as He is, He does know every single person. And anyone who wants to can feel the amazing love that he had then and has now! And forever!! That is what fills me with joy every time I think of it. That was what I wanted Mark to understand.

Now I sit at my computer, contemplating what love means, and needing desperately to sleep so I can get up at a ridiculous hour in the morning to go play on ships. I made it through Saturday. I'm just not sure I made it through unscathed...

cheers.